Ryan Breslin 1/21/25 Ryan Breslin 1/21/25

america will never be great again: musk’s heil signifies the end of democracy

"Maybe I should go out and document this," I said to my self, in reference to the inauguration that was taking place, ironically on MLK day. "You can't write this shit man, what is the coincidence?", I said to myself yesterday as I sat at my computer, checking to see if I was a fucking idiot and if MLK day and inauguration day always happened on the same day. “It only happened once in 1997”, I read with relief via CBS . Thus, I went on thought out my morning, working from home even though I was given the day off.

The frigid temperatures quickly changed my mind; "ugh, fuck that. They're gonna send someone like Peterson out anyway, and I highly doubt I can convince any photo editor at this point to give me a tear. I did tell a bunch of them to fuck off, so...". Dissatisfied with the climate of editorial, a voice kept going in the back of my head, "this is actually important though dude; the climate of our entire democracy is going to be radically altered". But again, I dismissed the idea of crafting an editorial pitch of interviewing a myriad of people about how they felt now and how they think they'll feel in a year. It wasn’t worth my time to continue this bullshit charade nor did I anything was fully planned in terms of a protest or crowd gathering at Trump Tower, the location I assumed people would gather for such an event.

As I turned on my TV and began to watch the inauguration, a third wave of doubt solidified my decision. "I don't need to get stabbed..."; the fact that the idea of me being assaulted, in the chaotic landscape that NYC has recently found itself in, is a bit astonishing but simulatenously, not surprising. So I continued through my day, switching off between remote work and working on personal projects; after a 3 year stint of being completely drained from any desire to create after the loss of my mother to COVID in 2020 that rocked my entire world, I saw a rebirth of my creativity in 2024, and it has only continued to grow more and more feverishly. Rather than just accept my failure as a photographer, I have decided to branch out into a myriad of realms again; journalism, music, cooking, starting a business, and 100 countless other ideas have pooled and overflowed in my brain. I don't want to be one-dimensional like some of my fellow SVA alumni, who, I will admit, are way more successful than I am. Nonetheless, my desire to make things might be considered nearly addicting, and rightfully so, as I have felt myself so enamored by creating that I even utilize it when I meet defeat or disrespect; an act that at times, has put me in hot water.

And so I was continuing my day, the inauguration continued on my tv screen as background noise, catching glimpses here and there. For some reason though, when Elon Musk took the stage, I paused. "This bumbling fuck, how in the good lord's name is this man this successful? Let alone bag a dime like Grimes?" It was a bit baffling for me with Elon; he seemed to come out of nowhere for me during the mid 2010's, and honestly, I just knew him as some dude that started his own car company, which I felt was a bold feat. And next was his acquisition of twitter, and as I mentioned previously, almost wifeying up Grimes. Almost.

As Musk completed his speech, he did something that I thought unfathomable. I think we all thought it was unfathomable, but alas, it happened. In a stern yet jittery means, Elon signaled the nazi heil, not once, but fucking twice. TWICE. He did it twice. I had to do a double take; and then, of course, I had to check social to make sure I wasn't imagining things.

Of course, social media was an absolute uproar. The commentary was brilliant, yet horrifying too as there were just as many defending him as there were denouncing him. The most baffling thing, for me though, was the lack of acknowledgement from the mainstream media for this. The only publication that jumped on it, and, in these days of digital communication, technically slept and the latter publications a brief coma, was the Atlantic, with an article appropriately titled, “Did He Just Do That?”; disappointingly though, it was hidden behind a pay-wall. It was funny though, because I did make a search initially to see which publications would jump on this; I suspected that New York Magazine and the New York Times would be going ape shit over this, yet, I found NY Mag was more concerned with Melania’s outfit and the Times off doing similar; most major publications were avoiding the topic, yet social media was in an absolute uproar that was falling on deaf ears.

The first publication that I saw make an legit headline was the New York Post, which yeah man, disappointing. It almost seems deliberate that the only publication that made a headline stating what we saw the actual headline was one that is often considered a tabloid/rag shag publication.

And despite New York Magazine’s release of their article on the subject, titled “Did Elon Musk Really Do A Seig Heil at Trump’s Inauguration?”, it’s akin to the title of the Atlantic's article; we are entering a new age of America that is going to see an authoritarian state, and all major media outlets are petrified. They’re tip-toeing around what has occurred, in the fear of prosecution in the future. And our future is, without question, bleak.

The Seig Heil sign that Musk delivered not only once, but twice, is the sign of the times. We are dialing back the clocks here, and as a white man that has not seen any sort of percentage of hate or violence akin to a woman, a queer person or a person of color, I am horrified for what is ahead of us. Call me paranoid, but I honestly feel that along with the rights of the minorities that have built this country, our rights to free speech and press are also on the line; if the reaction to Musk’s heil isn’t an example of where we are head, I don’t know what is.

I hope I am wrong about what I assume our country is heading towards; a censored, monitored society that feels akin to John Carpenter’s “They Live”. Someone recently stated on Threads, which I found rather amusing, and hope I can eventually find the author but am too lazy to do such, but I will state is not my own words, in that, “I wish 1984 would go back to being a work of fiction.”

Ryan Breslin 1/9/25 Ryan Breslin 1/9/25

online dating sucks

a survey of the landscape of modern day dating

I’ve been single now for almost 4 years. The end of my last legitimate relationship, which spanned nearly 7 years, was overdue. The both of us had felt a disconnect between one another and in turn, the intimacy between us faded as did our affection for one another. Fighting became more common, time spent together became less frequent, and we slowly began to disconnect. In the summer of 2021, after a manic episode that entailed me quitting my job, fighting with half of the rollerblading industry, as well as being arrested after a dispute with my father over my late mother’s estate, I was in shambles, and it only got worse. The day my ex moved out, I broke my ankle skating, and began a nearly half long process of surgeries and recovering. I relocated out of our apartment in Long Island City to rural Pleasant Valley, a small, miserable town that does not live up to its name, and I moved in down the door from my ex. And during this time, I struggled immensely. I hated my job, I hated my life and was constantly entertaining the idea of killing myself. And despite continuing to spend time with one another, with the foggy idea of us getting back together, that all came to a halt one morning while I was work, viewing her story, seeing her post a picture with a big, husky bearded guy, with a kissing emoji. She had moved on; and in turn, I needed to move. At first, I explored the idea of staying local, but upon having a handful of conversations with a now former friend, I eventually relocated to Utah.

Now during this time, and even prior to learning of my ex’s new partner, I had contemplated dating; I signed up for the apps as encouraged by co-workers at the time, and at first, things went okay. I matched with a smokeshow or two, had some conversations, and thought maybe I would find my new partner. But I was completely unaware as to how the dating landscape had changed since i had last dated nearly a decade prior. Online dating had become now a pay-to-play model; you’d have to pay to see your matches, or pay to boost your profile for more potential connections, as well as pay, at times, to continue to even swipe. And so, after a few dates with a handful of emotionally unavailable women, I really began to lose faith in my ability to find someone. When I relocated to Utah, I tried again, but, alas, was met with the same results; and honestly, some of my interactions were rather traumatizing. For example, I dated one woman that, after telling me that she was abused physically by her former partner, she still had feelings for them. Anothher smokeshow informed me that, on our third date, I displayed signs of being autistic. She promptly texted me the following day to tell me she wasn’t feeling a connection. It seemed like every single woman I had encountered was carrying a handful of emotional baggage that was busting at the suitcase, and I seemed to attract wherever I go.

*glisser vers la gauche, 2024; a series that explored the emotions experienced from online dating.*

I found, though, that luckily, I am not the only person that experiences this. In fact, most male users on dating websites complain about the same issue; lack of matches, emotionally unavailable women and the inability to make a true genuine connection. And it leaves me baffled as to why; because it isn’t to say online dating doesn’t work. My brother met his wife on a dating app, and they now have two kids and a wonderful life. My sister, as well, met her current fiance on a dating website, and while rocky at times, they are now living together and are working towards a life as one. So it isn’t to say that you cannot find love on these apps, but you have to understand that companies such as Tinder and Bumble are not in the business of love, they are in the business of making money. So if you are in a business where you can manipulate people into paying you to acquire a certain sense of validation, well, boy, you’ve hit the gold mine.

And it isn’t just men that are experiencing this. While inundated with a handful of likes and messages, and often not facing the paywall that men seem to face, women are overwhelmed by the lack of genuine conversation; most men just want to get laid. But what about us that don’t? I want to start a family; I want a partner that I will love unconditionally, and provide me with that same love in return. But it seems to be asking a lot of modern day dating to get that sort of result.

Tinder and similar dating apps have built a business where you pay for a temporary validation that is then followed by you falling into a bottomless pit of despair when ghosted or when it doesn’t work out; in turn, once your subscription expires, like clockwork, Tinder and the similar apps concoct these fake “matches” to reel you back in. Wash, rinse and repeat. Lust is their currency; love is the luxury none of us seem to be able to afford.